Tonight I listened to a track that came in with a mans voice over saying this:

“Imagine that your whole life is a dream, and you could dream it in any way you wanted… So naturally, in the beginning of this journey you would fulfill all your desires, all the things you wish for would come to you… and then in a short amount of time you would wish for a surprise, you would desire a challenge or something unexpected and you would continue to wish and wish this until you were where you are at right now…”

And I was pondering this as I stirred my tea. It seems that I continued to delay certain goals when they weren’t filling the empty void I had inside. For quite some time I used alcohol to fill that empty void. And then it was dance… HALLELUIAH I said… and then it was men and then it was just the feeling of love. And then, I realized, nothing can fill that void, except for me with Gods love.

I smiled because I remembered how motivated I was to do certain art projects, sometimes to dance in the cypher, all to fill this empty void. Some called it courage, even.

And now, as I feel that my season of lack of motivation is ending, I find myself finding a whole new motivation. Instead of filling the empty void with projects, the projects come from an overflow of Self – Love and this is why God has placed this season upon me. And I smiled, realizing I was growing in Self-Love. And then I cursed, realizing I hadn’t sent out this email yet today. Praise God for the nonchalant reminder.

Good night 😉 Thanks for being on the other side.

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